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| YO, Get in the front seat bro |
o o o
[Verse 1]
I said to Mary, “Honey let’s go somewhere weird”
She said “Fine, but no mosquitoes and no beard”
Found a deal on the internet, clicked too fast
Now we’re flying to Tajikistan – first class? Ha, economy, last!
[Pre-Chorus]
And the plane is shaking
And the pilot’s faking
And the in-flight meal is mystery meat
And my seat won’t recline and my foot fell asleep
[Chorus]
This is my Tajikistan vacation
This is my Tajikistan vacation
Snow on the mountains, yak on the grill
Wi-Fi is zero, phone has no bill
This is my Tajikistan vacation
(And I left my blood-pressure pills!)
[Verse 2]
Land in Dushanbe at 4 a.m.
Driver named Rustam says “Welcome, my friend!”
Hands me a thermos – fermented mare’s milk
I drink it to be polite and immediately feel ill Hotel room has two beds and one light
Soviet carpet that glows in the night
Mary says “Look, the shower has… settings?”
It’s either ice pick or dragon breath – no in-betweens
[Chorus]
This is my Tajikistan vacation
This is my Tajikistan vacation
Plov so greasy it slides off the plate
Bread so big we use it as second base
This is my Tajikistan vacation
(And the toilet is a hole with a view of the sheep!)
[Bridge]
And the guide says “Now we drive the Pamir Highway!”
And the road is gone missing, okay!
And the yak is in the backseat, why?
And Mary yelling “If I die, I swear I’ll haunt this guy!”
[Verse 3]
Woke up in a yurt, altitude 4000 meters
Head is pounding like a disco with cheaters
Old lady brings tea with butter and salt
I smile like I love it – this is all my fault But the stars… my God, the stars at night
So many you could scoop ’em with a satellite
Mary’s asleep on a pile of rugs
I whisper “Sorry babe… but zero bugs!”
[Final Chorus]
This is my Tajikistan vacation
This is my Tajikistan vacation
Foot doesn’t hurt, heart is too high
Bread weighs ten pounds but the sky is so wide
This is my Tajikistan vacation
(Next year we’re going to Florida… maybe)
[Outro]
And Rustam says “You come back soon?”
I say “Inshallah, brother… maybe June.”